Change

Finishing Well . . .

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As I sit for one of the last times on my California deck and look out on my husband’s production legacy, my emotions go from anger to relief and back; with all levels experienced in a plethora of degrees. What is interesting to me is the connection between those emotional extremes to individuals and expectations. I have spent years in recovery from my own emotional garbage and its shrapnel. I have prompted and been prompted to let go of my expectations of others. My admonition has not changed, however the spiritual methodologies become much less standardized when it is my crap that needs to be extinguished. After almost 12 years here in the central valley of California, God certainly has done a transformative work in our lives. We are not the same people who moved here in February 2006 and for that I am grateful. In both the early years of recovery and those prior to it, the unkindness and disrespect that is being portioned to my husband would have been me with a full-on frontal (verbal) assault (without reserve). Now I am conflicted, which is good. Now I know what is right and honorable and I care about that. Now I know what it means to honor God in my response; which is really no response at all. Now I understand that forgiveness is a process and that when I fully surrender and am honest about my own stuff, God shows up and gently moves me through His process. Still, like Paul the good that I want to do I struggle with and the flesh and spirit battle for supremacy. O this wretched body of sin!

So, in this final blog from my California deck, I write and pray for those who have spitefully abused my gentle sweet amazing husband. Though now through gritted teeth, I know God will do His work in me and one day I will look back and see He has helped me lay it all down and fully forgive. God is on His throne. We have moved on and grown spiritually and what remains here is what He will us or work out in those who remain.

His work . . . His way . . . His timing.

Wyoming here we come . . . Thanks be to God for His great mercy and grace towards us!

Sticks and Stones . . .

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imageSticks and stones may break my bones but words . . .

Have you ever thought about the effect your words have on people? I was entering an event venue at the invitation of an acquaintance. When entering, I saw this person and was greeted warmly but with the look that says ‘I know I should know you but’, you know the one, right?  It did not bother me in the slightest. Reflecting, however, on our original meeting and invitation, I expected a different response. Though some time has passed and life gets busy, what was clear is that her words had impacted me more than our original meeting had impacted her. Again, I was not hurt or disappointed, it just struck me how causally we use words. We speak and communicate but we are never certain how those words impact or influence the receiver. There is a children’s song that has as a verse,

 ‘O be careful little mouth what you say . . . for the Father up above is looking down with love, O be careful little mouth what you say.’

What we say even in a small group setting impacts and influences others, either negatively or positively. We judge something simple like appearances and comment even jokingly, and these seemingly benign words are received and have consequences. We talk about others, even in Christian circles and even if the person is not present, the hearers of those words forms opinions and thoughts. These thoughts inform behavior and attitudes toward others. Interestingly, when judging another, we typically attribute their deficiencies to character flaws, but when we judge ourselves we attribute those flaws to circumstances. We judge with incomplete information. We do not know everything, or why choices were made. We assume, but we do not know what we do not know. What would happen, especially in Christian circles, where the world is certainly listening and observing, if we guarded our words with as much care as we guard our money or our children.

 John 13:35 says that all people will know we are followers of Jesus Christ when they observe how we love one another.

 Not by how much we give, or stand in opposition to issues and not even how we love the world. The world will know that we follow Christ by how we demonstrate love within our Christian community towards one another. Jesus says in John 12:32 ‘If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to myself.’ The process seems to be we love in community, lifting up Christ by word and deeds and Jesus will draw men to him. People will come to know him.   Words matter whether the person being talked about is present or not. Words impact and influence. I have done my share of damage in this area, but by the grace of God through this insignificant reunion with an acquaintance, I will be careful what I say.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words have lasting consequences that can destroy.

The Right to Become . . .

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John 1:12-13 But to all IMG_0225who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

  I am sitting in a hotel room, having evacuated our home for California agriculture fumigation laws, but because our life right now is very stressful, I am grateful for the break in our routine. Daily I am reminded that God is at work often where I cannot see and in spite of my actions or attitudes.  Away from ‘normal’ we have laughed, mostly at ourselves and confirmed new limitations for our age. All in all it has been good emotionally, spiritually and relationally for both of us. Coupled with the completion of a Health Psychology class, this break has given me time to reevaluate my lifestyle and some maladaptive behaviors. Change is hard but it is a necessary process, most often a slow one, for becoming anything different.

In John 1:12-13 the words ‘the right to become’ stuck out today.  This passage speaks both of position and process. When an individual receives and believes in the light, Jesus Christ, they are given the right to become children of God.  A process. .. to become. There is a starting point, receiving and believing leading to salvation, adoption, the entry into the positional kingdom of God as a child. Then the process of becoming, growing into that position and relationship, like a child adopted into a new home, gaining familiarity, growing in a new trusting relationship. I often struggle with feeling like I am enough, yet this scripture encourages me in my inheritance and heritage. I am enough by virtue of being a child of God, born of God, born into His full acceptance. In that relationship I can grow and become all that God wants me to be. He gives grace and mercy in that growing process and like a child learning to walk with his parent close by, He is close enough to catch and protect  when I fall, as I  certainly will. Perfection is not the goal this side of heaven. The process of becoming, the journey of growth with God the Father through Jesus Christ is the goal this side of heaven, filled with grace, truth, love and mercy.  What an awesome, gentle, loving God!

The Paradigm Shift Continues . . .Body Life

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. . . Body Life at Work

I am member of the body of Christ and with that membership comes gifts to be exercised within the body . . . what I like to call body life. In my brain, the use of those gifts has been confined to the context of the Church (capital ‘C’) and I mean bricks and mortar, as well as the church (lower case ‘c’) represented by small groups, areas of service or the community in which I worship. I think this view is shared by many even if by verbal acquiescence they state otherwise. Almost every pulpit under whose shadow I sat has used the ideas surrounding body life in terms of use within the Church / church often to encourage service. Certainly there is truth and application there. Christ certainly died for the Church. But if (since) my Christian life is to be missional (sent out daily) as we address and interact with others, how do our spiritual gifts come into play, say for example in our work environments? How does body life look for Christians in the work environment with other believers? More importantly perhaps, how does the operation of our spiritual gifts, of lack thereof, look to those outside the faith? Scripture supports the idea of body life outside the ‘Church’ in Matthew 18: 20 when Jesus speaks of his presence in and among groups of believers. Therefore, we are the body of Christ endowed with spiritual gifts in the workplace as well as the Church/church.

I don’t know about you but sometime,( and some of you are laughing in agreement at this statement), I do not always play well with others. I am opinionated and often resistant to change. Some would even say, (and you know who you are), I have issues with authority. That’s enough transparency for me right now…. But I suspect there are a great deal of people like me out there, maybe even you. In my experience and by observations in the work environment, it is hard to tell believers from unbelievers when we gossip, lie, cheat, steal, judge, are unforgiving, and give less than 100% on the job. One could hardly follow our example and certainly these behaviors do not even nod to our relationship to Christ.  Relax your bristled hair now . . . I have a point and it is not to brow beat I promise.

Most people spend more time at work than at home and certainly more than at Church/church. In reading I Corinthians 1:26 – 2:7 (ESV), I was struck by the word ‘lowly’. James 4:1 talks about quarrels among believers and the harm. There is nothing lowly, servant-like about quarreling with your brother or sister in Christ, especially in the work context. Yet more times than not, we leave our Spiritual gifts at Church and exclude the body life at our 9-5 for which they were also intended. How would work environments change if those who call the name of Christ operated like Jesus, lowly and humble, serving in love for others?  How would my gifts of hospitality and generosity used in the context of body life among co-workers change that environment? How would that change the perspective of those outside the faith? Would they be willing to engage in that kind of place with that kind of believer? Twelve guys through the power of the Holy Spirit changed the world with this concept. It’s not new.

I was given this poem many years ago as a Pastor’s wife by a sweet friend in Wishram, Washington.

You’re living a lesson each moment you live

Your example is a trail

That others will follow for good or for ill

Will you help them or cause them to fail?

Author Unknown